Yes, it was a good call to use the 24kg. 16kg is way too light for you.
It is a nice swing overall, as you really are hip hinging.
There are a few things that can be perfected.
The first thing I would correct are your shoulders. We see them go up at the end of each swing. Think of a standing plank : once your hips are extended, everything must be tight (glutes, abs, knee caps up, LATS). Tight lats will keep your shoulders down where they belong.
Another thing: keep low reps for the time. I would do 3 to 5 reps max to both work on technique and power, or even dead stop swings. 15 reps is not the best to work on perfecting your technique.