Off-Topic I think I am inlove

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Level 7 Valued Member
I feel the same way whenever I see Stefi Cohen (not to mention all the inspirational, incredible and strong women of the StrongFirst forum).

Strength (of all kinds) is beautiful.
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Level 8 Valued Member
Does a post like this make women on these forums more comfortable, more likely to post form checks, link to their social media, etc. - or less?

You may have opened a real can of worms here by asking this, as far as the ongoing direction this thread will go ;)

From the perpective of being female, I cannot help but know objectification of women exists out there, especially in the entertainment industry/mass media, and even in the fitness industry. Conversely, this objectification happens in reverse females objectifying males, although perhaps not as out there and blatant.

As far as the original post to start this thread, it's words. I cannot pretend to immediately assume the intent of the original poster. If the word gorgeous was not included, and only stated that this was a strong woman, would people be responding to this thread differently? Words have the power or meaning/offence the recipient gives them, at least that's how I take things in my own mind personally as I go through life.

I have posted form checks on my log before, to have pointed out what others see that I may not in technique. Heck I am middle aged and a good 30lb heavier than I was 10 years ago. But, call me naive, but I like to assume positive intent and good in those (mostly male, statistically speaking here on the forums) people viewing and giving me feedback. If I did not, I would not post. From my experience, it's a good group of ladies and gentleman here.

Other females may have other perspectives, but this is just mine.

Steve Freides

Senior Certified Instructor
Elite Certified Instructor
You may have opened a real can of worms here by asking this, as far as the ongoing direction this thread will go ;)
@Sean M and I have been discussing this thread in a PM, and I asked that this can of worms be opened. I think it's a good and perhaps an important conversation to have.

I'll also note that the OP here is a very recent member of our forum - only joined about a week ago.



Level 7 Valued Member
If anything I find the title of the thread set the tone in a light that wasn't resonating with me positively.

I know what you mean. That being said, I don't see anything necessarily wrong with the content of the post.

It's a matter of perspective of course and @Sean M does indeed raise a very valid question.

To give the OP the benefit of the doubt, it can be difficult to anticipate any potential negative impact a seemingly innocent comment may have.

Steve W.

Level 7 Valued Member
While I admittedly am sympathetic to the OP's opinion of Ms. Witt, I did think the OP had a bit of a drooling/heavy breathing tone that rubbed me the wrong way, and the appropriateness of starting a thread expressing said opinion struck me as questionable.

A post praising her strength, with a different title and overall tone, would not have bothered me, probably even if it included a comment like, "And she's not bad to look at either."
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Level 5 Valued Member
perhaps an important conversation to have.

My daughter said something the other day about someones skin, and it shocked me. She's not been exposed to that kind of thinking. So I did some research into having these discussions with her. Seems that children don't need to explicitly have an adult role model who is discriminatory, because (like it or not) society is inherently discriminating. And kids are smart enough to learn from all the unconscious signals they see/hear daily from many facets... So yes, IMO, having "challenging" discussions are important.


Level 7 Valued Member
Well... in the name of challenging conversations...

The OP don't sit right with me. Not something I would say around my daughter or my wife, at least not in those words.

I appreciate that there's nothing overtly offensive there, and it quickly becomes a matter of reading intent. Honestly, one of the tenants of being a man that I stand by is that $&*% ain't fair, do not expect it to be. You will be judged on the perception of your words and actions. Manage accordingly.


Level 9 Valued Member
An interesting topic actually...

The whole gender discussion which is going on...I had an interseting discussion with my sister aboout that a few months ago.
She is a professional singer and is also teaching singing. She had a young male student who started to provoke her by saying that he does not believe that she could sing a certain part of a song (of course she can). She felt challenged and showed him. I asked her why she has not just said that she can do it and if he is in doubt about that he might have picked the wrong teacher.
What I am trying to say is that we (women) often try to proove that we are 'as good or worthy as men' are.
To me, being a teacher, it is important to be a good role model for my female pupils. I discuss with them why they post selfies instead of books they have read, t-shirts the tailored or their cute dog. I just want to make them think about that, even if it just for that moment.
I do not sit with crossed legs in a group of men, I deserve as much space as they do. I speak up when I am of a different opinion.

Women do not have to be the better men. What I think is part of the problem is that women still think negative of other women too often. Is she thinner? Is her hair thicker, her skin flawless? As long as we compare these things instead of supporting us and making us better, men will rule the world. We (women) too often get stuck in those superficial questions and feel better and enough if there is at least one woman around who is not as pretty as the ones self.
What do men compare? Income, size of car, status. Women try to achieve beauty, men try achieve a status.

To me the women around here are strong, inspirational and supportive. And so they are in real life, we need more of them!
The men around here are the same - smart supportive guys (y)
Same goals, same interests, opposite sex...seems to work, right?

North Coast Miller

Level 8 Valued Member
To me it sounded like something a man much younger than me might say without first deeply considering inter-generational, gender-realtional, forum etiquette, socio-sexual objectivational dynamics.

I wouldn't have bothered to post it myself, not because I disagree that the young lady in question isn't striking/admirable on a number of levels, but because it's a no-brainer - why bother?

Meh, we're all human.

Ryan T

Level 6 Valued Member
Certified Instructor
I think most of us have been guilty of sticking our foot in our mouth in plenty of social situations. I certainly have too many times than I care to admit. I also don't feel good about the tone, but I seriously doubt that the OP would have posted something that he thought would be taken as an offense.

I've surfed bodybuilding/exercise forums among others, and S1 community is the most respectful, supportive and seems like the people really enjoy the comradery. Of course there are disagreements and heated or challenging discussions, but that's what happens when you bring any group of people together. There's a real spirit of seeking to better ourselves and one another through knowledge sharing, coaching and support. I have enormous respect for everyone I've interacted with and followed.

Perhaps the best way we can be helpful here is to continue to model the attitude, behavior and comments appropriate to the expectations of this community.

@WeightedPullups This is a great community of postive, humble folks that can help you with your goals for health, strength and wellbeing. I have made friendships here and I have benefitted enormously from the coaches and forum members that have advised/mentored me in a number of different ways. I suggest you stick around, learn from this experience and move forward.
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