Off-Topic So, life has happened...

[Harry Westgate]

Apologies for not replying to this thread sooner; I've been a bit busy with end of year exams!

First of all, I'd just like to thank everyone for their responses and kind words, with their being a lot of great words of wisdom here I may not acknowledge everyone individually, but please don't think that all the posts put here are not massively appreciated!

Having sat my final exams for this year, they went fairly well considering the mental aspects of things that I've been struggling with, as well as the post-surgery hassle (daily wound-dressing, pain, etc. etc.). I've taken on board a lot of the advice regarding mindfulness/meditation/general introspection, and I have found that this, combined with the medication which I've now been taking for just over two weeks that I've been able to feel a lot more 'balanced' in my mood, and in fact had a higher proportion of higher moods (realistically this might be a buzz from the end of the academic year, but I guess time will tell). I did however have something of a really low episode yesterday evening, but given that it's been a good week and a half since I felt that low, I'm still counting it as a win.

I think, all things considered, that I'll probably carry on with my final year of uni, as a few people have pointed out that it's only a year and may well pay off. Also, a few months off over the summer might give me the headspace I need.

Regarding the 'what am I going to do with my life' question... I appreciate what many of you have said regarding taking it easier and not stressing over what one thing I'm going to commit to forever. However, as @conor78 pointed out that I have a great interest in physical activity, it made me think more about the fact that this is certainly something I've thought about exploring career-wise for a while, whether it be in a job requiring high levels of fitness (e.g. military/law enforcement), or perhaps even as a fitness instructor/personal trainer. For now though, I'll let this be food for thought.

I have started to think however that it would make sense to pick a job that truly plays to my interests; I recently found a channel on YouTube (I'll link it below), and in one of this guy's videos he said that in order to find your purpose and figure out why you're really here, look at your habits, look at what you read about in your free time, etc. (i.e. what you read about because you're interested in it, not because you have to because your academic course requires it). If I'm honest, fitness and general physical endeavours describe me perfectly in this context; when I have a free minute, I like checking out the forum here, as well as articles relating to fitness and nutrition, etc., etc. - you get the idea. As such, it'd make sense for me to seriously consider a job in the fitness industry.

Those are just some of my thoughts at present. Again, I can't thank all of you enough for taking the time to post here.

Power to all of you.

 

[Harry Westgate]

Infinite Waters (Diving Deep)

Almost forgot, this is the YouTube channel I mentioned. This guy is a breath of fresh air when feeling down about just about anything. Cool guy. I thoroughly recommend watching one or two of his videos.

Another thing I meant to mention; my physical recovery. It's going very well. The doctors expected my surgery wound to take months to heal (surgery took place on 24th of last month I think), yet the nurse I saw today said she was amazed at the recovery I'd made and said that she'd put her neck out and bet that in two weeks it would be all healed! :O (I attribute the fast healing to following the Warrior Diet with lots of protein, fruit and vegetables - undereating during the day allows the body to do one thing at a time; in my case, focus on healing rather than digesting!).

In addition, the pain is practically non-existent, so walking is easy enough now, although due to the area that the wound is in, plus the dressing on it, any kind of squatting/hip hinging work is out of the question.

However, on a more positive note, I have been able to get down into the pushup position and start greasing the groove my OAPUs (in addition to GTGing my #1 COC gripper - my grip strength is great now; regular sets of five reps per hand with ease!) the last few days (maybe just over a week now?), and I must say, on a side note to the main topic of this thread, that this laser-like focus that I've been forced to have on just one main exercise has really paid off - my OAPUs are better than ever; I'm doing at least 10 sets a day on most days with about half my sets being 3-5 reps on the floor, and the other half being 2 reps with my feet on a box about 1ft off the floor. I wouldn't have thought this time last year that I'd progress to feet elevated OAPUs!!! Really happy about this, and my arms and shoulders (with a hint of abs) look great for it!

Also, the great thing about GTG and staying fresh as I have been means that there's minimal chance of training having any kind of impact on my wound healing (i.e. it doesn't tear the muscles down, thus taking up more nutrients for recovery), while also meaning that I'm getting the satisfaction of being able to do some form of strength training.

 

[Tarzan]

Thanks for the update Harry.

It's good to know things are looking up for you. You seem to be much more pragmatic and focused on solutions now. Focusing on problems just amplifies them in my experience.

For the sake of one more year of uni the benefits that will come from having that degree will outweigh the inconvenience. Tertiary qualifications can open doors in many unrelated fields.

It's good to see you have a spring in your step again Harry.

 

[Harry Westgate]

@Tarzan Thank you for your regards. Yes, I definitely feel more able to think clearly about everything now. I think perhaps I felt a couple of weeks ago as though too much all happened at once which left me feeling unable to cope with anything (surgery for the first time in my life, when I was already in a relatively bad place mentally, with exams coming up which I felt I couldn't prepare for sufficiently/wasn't sure I wanted to take anyway, all while trying to figure out my purpose in life - in hindsight it seems insane to have been thinking about everything the way I was, but hey, I didn't know how else to think about it as I was pretty much just bottling it all up to myself), but yes, the spring is certainly returning to my step.

On a slight side note, I think it's good how we have an 'Everything Else' section on this forum, allowing for discussions on topics that may seemingly have nothing to do with physical training at all at first glance, but are important nonetheless. Hopefully I won't be the last to open up and talk about some of the psychological struggles I know many of us go through.

 

[arlaurin]

Hey Harry,

I enjoyed your post.

I have had a lot of friends and family with major depressive or anxiety disorders. One tool for your toolbox is to create a good support system of friends who know what's going on with you. These people will be the rock when it feels like you're in a churning, stormy ocean. People who have similar disorders or experiences can help, but also keep in mind they can hurt and take you on a rabbit train down a dark hole if you aren't careful about who you choose.

I absolutely don't mean this to bring you down or piss on your aspirations to being a police officer or in the military, but you will face an uphill battle to get in if you decide to go that route. I had what I would term "adjustment disorder" (diagnosed as mild depression) and was treated for about two years with . About 5 five years later, I applied for the US Navy for naval aviation officer, my application was accepted but three months later I was permanently disqualified for medical when I disclosed my treatment. It takes a while to get over these things. There's a large taboo in the military and law enforcement about medical treatment. It raises lots of questions and isn't fully understood sometimes, it's swept under the label into something bad because you went and tried to work out your problem. Never mind that you actually did the right thing and sought help.

I highly recommend that if you decide "I absolutely want to be a policeman" or "I absolutely want to be a military bad-a**" that you get a degree that will allow you to have gainful employment in a job you'll like if your dreams fall through. I'm very grateful that I got the degree I did after my disqualifier. Best of luck to you, Harry.

 

[elli]

Metaphorically spoken: strong shoulders can carry problems- you won't break down!