Mate,
It's been rough as hell these past few years. I'm back on antidepressant medication, which I swore I'd never use again when I came off it years ago (although that was macho nonsense and if medication helps, it's worth taking; you wouldn't try to 'tough out' serious physical illness so it makes no sense to treat mental illness any differently).
It seems to be helping and I've been able to focus a bit more recently but, man has it been difficult! The Coronavirus pandemic cost me my job in the events industry (although I'd been trying to find a way out for a while so it's entirely possible that this could prove to be a blessing in disguise, although it's not how I'd have chosen to make my exit).
I've been struggling to get over a really painful and unpleasant relationship that fell apart just over two years ago now but it's been a real learning experience and I think I'm at a point where I'm prepared to acknowledge that it's more important for me to spend some time building myself back up and remembering who I am and what I want just as an individual before trying to open up and share my life with another person. It's lonely, for sure, but it's important: While I'm not saying it's impossible to form a meaningful, healthy, caring relationship while your self-esteem's in the proverbial toilet, it can leave you vulnerable to people who will see your weaknesses and exploit them (possibly without even realising that that's what they're doing). Put on your own oxygen mask first, as they say.
I've been devoting pretty much all of my available energy (i.e. what's left after essential activities) to weightlifting and I recently took the plunge to get my coaching certification from British Weightlifting. I'm still a rank amateur but I honestly can't think of anything else I'd rather do and, when you've been at rock bottom for what feels like a long time, pursuing what some might see as an unorthodox or ill-advised career path really doesn't seem that big a deal compared to some of the alternatives I'd considered.
Got to give myself some props for still being here and for having kept up with my training, although I've not logged anything here in a while. Sometimes I've been on autopilot and training hasn't been particularly effective but I've really found my groove again and it's been mindful, meaningful and effective. I'm making strides forwards (and keeping healthy and injury free) and that's all that really matters.
You know, it feels really good to share these things.
@Adam R Mundorf I really appreciate you asking and I hope you're doing okay.
Onwards and upwards!
