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Off-Topic Discipline vs Life Balance

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steve-in-kville

steve-in-kville

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Didn't know where else on the forum to go, so we'll start here.

This has been on my mind a lot lately. I consider myself a very spiritual person and as one that has suffered with mental health issues since my teenage years, I tend to keep my finger on the pulse of what is important to me, who I allow in my life, and so on.

As some have followed, I've upped my game working out. I have set a goal to loose certain amount of weight before end of summer. (I have two adult children getting married and want to fit into the suit I was married in!) I realize I will never be my high school weight, but I want to get reasonably close.

I've resisted counting calories and macros and have tried to not allow the numbers on the scale to mean to much on a day-to-day basis. I'm in my mid-40's, so its not like I *need* to loose that much weight but I want to as my own personal goal (30 pounds in 90 days, or as close to it as possible).

So for your guys & gals that are near my age (or where when you started to take fitness seriously), am I taking this too far? I always thought disciple and life balance sorta went hand in hand, but perhaps I've become unbalanced?

Sorry, I had to wax philosophical there, but I could use some direction.
 
I don't share similar life situation, but I will offer one piece of advice related to your target. It's definitely aggressive and faster than what is typically recommended by health professionals (1-2lbs/wk)
I will ask you the Dan John question - "Now What"? It's the day after the wedding. Now What? Have your habits the last 90 days supported your future habits? Is what you've done sustainable?

Balance comes down to the individual. There are times in life where one thing may overshadow another. Balance doesn't mean day to day, it means week to week. Only you can know if your focus on one thing is having negative consequences on the rest.
 
Sounds like two different questions to me.

Losing weight for a wedding or photo shoot doesn't have to be sustainable, as it's a one time event.

How one manages nutrition outside of that is a different matter.

It's like training to peak for a competition (unsustainable) vs how you train in the off season (sustainable).
 
steve-in-kville said:
No, my goal is too keep it that way. This just the way I plan to go about it.
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In that case, I don't think your plan matches your goal.

The more aggressive and longer the weight loss, the more likely it is to down regulate your metabolism, which is not good for the long term.

I'd back off on the rate of loss and take a diet break every 6 weeks.

See MATADOR study for rationale.
 
steve-in-kville said:
I've resisted counting calories and macros and have tried to not allow the numbers on the scale to mean to much on a day-to-day basis. I'm in my mid-40's, so its not like I *need* to loose that much weight but I want to as my own personal goal (30 pounds in 90 days, or as close to it as possible).

So for your guys & gals that are near my age (or where when you started to take fitness seriously), am I taking this too far? I always thought disciple and life balance sorta went hand in hand, but perhaps I've become unbalanced?
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Yes, it's doable. Yes, you can lose that much weight and keep it off for the rest of your life. If I do the math right, that's 2-1/2 lbs per week for 12 weeks.

It's very important the realize that eating is a habit, and how we become hungry is part of that habit, and that habits take a while to break and new behaviors take a while to feel normal. All this is discipline - get on the scale every day, and take the numbers seriously - perhaps not "day-to-day" seriously if, e.g., you know you had take-out food that's more salty than usual and therefore might reasonably expect to weigh a pound more the next day.

In your place, I'd pick a day of the week and do your very best to make sure you meet your target. For me, because my meets have Friday morning weigh-ins, I make my targets Friday mornings. That means no take-out food for after Tuesday night any week, for instance, but it also means that you can make Friday your cheat day.

-S-
 
30 pounds in 90 days, without counting calories/macros is going to be difficult if not impossible. You gotta get on some sort of food diary, otherwise people grossly misjudge their intake.

If you want to switch to treating this as a peaking phase rather than lifestyle change, I’ve had good luck with running a carnivore style keto into velocity diet. You will absolutely hate life tho, velocity diet is just awful for quality of life during. But you will lose the weight, I used to do this when I had to big weight cuts for tournaments.
 
Steve Freides said:
In your place, I'd pick a day of the week and do your very best to make sure you meet your target. For me, because my meets have Friday morning weigh-ins, I make my targets Friday mornings. That means no take-out food for after Tuesday night any week, for instance, but it also means that you can make Friday your cheat day.
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That's me this week.

Weigh-in is 7:00 AM Saturday. Competition starts at 8:30 AM.

All you can eat buffet will be lunch.
 
Lots of good info, thanks.

I've only been recording Monday morning weigh-ins. I do step on scale more often than that, but a consume a lot of water so my water weight can be every where throughout the week.
 
@steve-in-kville - 30lbs in 90 days is a very aggressive goal and it is going to require two things: severely restricting calories and significantly increasing activity. If my math is right you will need a 1000 calorie deficit per day. I would not recommend someone try that, but it is doable. You will likely need a very strong support network (and a very tolerant family - likely to get quite irritable!) and you will need to carefully plan what you eat.

IF you are going to do this, my one recommendation is to eat a high-protein diet of at about 1 g per pound. This, in combination with training, will help preserve muscle during the deficient, so you don't just end up a smaller version of your current self.

Then, like @wespom9 mentions, you will need to develop habits to maintain that weight. What will get you into and thru a deficit like this is not what you will use to maintain that weight.
 
In addition to all of the excellent advice provided above, I'll add this: don't get too hung up on scale weight. It can fluctuate like mad depending on carb intake, bathroom 'regularity', cortisol, all kinds of things.

A more reliable metric is your belly circumference (not sucked in but not relaxed all the way out either; just a comfortable 'engaged' tension). Measure at the belly button, 2 inches below and two inches above. Of course there will be variables you can't control but you can be more certain that a reduction in the measurement will be genuine fat loss, generally speaking. And that's what you want.

I said this in another thread as well but I cannot recommend walking more highly for fat loss. Get at least 10K steps per day, and preferably more. If you can stand throughout the day too, that will benefit your goals. The calorie burn will seriously add up.

Lastly, good luck! I hope that suit fits you like it's made for you. It'll be a great feeling when it does.
 
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Steve Freides said:
Yes, it's doable. Yes, you can lose that much weight and keep it off for the rest of your life. If I do the math right, that's 2-1/2 lbs per week for 12 weeks.

It's very important the realize that eating is a habit, and how we become hungry is part of that habit, and that habits take a while to break and new behaviors take a while to feel normal. All this is discipline - get on the scale every day, and take the numbers seriously - perhaps not "day-to-day" seriously if, e.g., you know you had take-out food that's more salty than usual and therefore might reasonably expect to weigh a pound more the next day.

In your place, I'd pick a day of the week and do your very best to make sure you meet your target. For me, because my meets have Friday morning weigh-ins, I make my targets Friday mornings. That means no take-out food for after Tuesday night any week, for instance, but it also means that you can make Friday your cheat day.

-S-
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This is a very true statement. As someone who has had to change my diet multiple times I realize that eating is often more of an emotion than a necessity. Since I started fasting I realized I only need one or two meals a day and I sustain myself perfectly fine. I realize it is possible to give up things that you thought you needed and loved that are bad for you but really you don’t miss them at all once you stop consuming them. I never thought I would stop drinking soda for good and then I did and I never want to drink another one again. My view on nutrition is probably skewed because of my health issues and how necessary it is for me to eat a certain way. I never thought that I could control my hunger the way that I can when I’m fasting ….often times I wake up and feel hungry first thing in the morning and think to myself “how am I going to go all day without eating when I’m already hungry.” Then I start my day keep myself busy and before I know it is the afternoon and I haven’t eaten.

I know caloric deficit is important But I think many people could benefit from fasting intermittently and it’s a great tool to help you lose weight pretty quickly. But you have to be able to get over the mental block of “I need to eat right now because my stomach is growling”
 
steve-in-kville said:
I've resisted counting calories and macros and have tried to not allow the numbers on the scale to mean to much on a day-to-day basis. I'm in my mid-40's, so its not like I *need* to loose that much weight but I want to as my own personal goal (30 pounds in 90 days, or as close to it as possible).

So for your guys & gals that are near my age (or where when you started to take fitness seriously), am I taking this too far? I always thought disciple and life balance sorta went hand in hand, but perhaps I've become unbalanced?

Sorry, I had to wax philosophical there, but I could use some direction.
Click to expand...

I can speak from losing 50 lbs over ~8 months and measuring 6.1% bodyfat on the BodPod when I turned 49. Bottom line, I was a 238 lb fatbody who could deadlift 550+ but couldn't do much else. Six months later, my deadlift had dropped ~80 lbs but I could do 14 pullups and my 1.5 mile run time (Military Fit Test) had dropped from 12:45 to 10:28.

First, you can lose 30 lbs in 90 days but I'd aim for the "close as possible." I'm all for an initial crash diet but easing off into a long term eating plan before you "blow up." Speaking as a flyer, it's like easing out of a steep dive before you nose hard into the ground.

To echo @Gypsyplumber , fasting is a terrific way to lose bodyfat. One still eats properly and controls the amount of food, though. One meal a day works best for me. It's just too easy to overeat during an X hour window, which isn't so much fasting as one can easily eat too much when spacing feeding over hours. Fasting is difficult for a short time, then it's just something you do. My personal longest fast was 69 hours but I honestly could have gone longer.

You will have a day or three where you slip up. That's fine, just don't fall into the "heck with it, I've already blown my diet today" trap to rationalize (rational lies) being a hog the rest of the day.

Were I in your shoes again, I'd kick start your plan with a ~ two week sensible crash diet and then ease off into something strict but sustainable. Take your time and experiment to find something that works for you.

Ignore naysayers, they're talking instead of doing.

Trainingwise, challenge yourself. Don't take it easy, but don't kill yourself. Slowly build your capacity and look at the long haul. As I tell folks I train, every day is a brick. You can move every weight in the gym, PR every lift, and that day is a brick. You can take a well/planned, needed rest day, that day is a brick. Over 365 days what kind of wall did you build. Definitely a lot bigger and sturdier than the "14 day wonder" New Year's resolution types....
 
steve-in-kville said:
Lots of good info, thanks.

I've only been recording Monday morning weigh-ins. I do step on scale more often than that, but a consume a lot of water so my water weight can be every where throughout the week.
Click to expand...
I've been weighing myself every morning, first thing. It allows me to keep a consistent diary so I can see the trend. Pick a time and record it every day.
 
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