Tarzan
Level 6 Valued Member
I'm just having a rant, I won't be offended if Steve deletes it.
I've just had another lucky streak, my lucky streaks are almost invariably unlucky streaks but you have to see the funny side.
Last night after more than a few glasses of red wine I let the dog in for a while, he's the most intelligent dog I've ever seen but he's also as crazy as a 2 bob watch. He got worked up and was doing his usual psycho act darting all around the house and jumping over furniture etc and he jumped up my lap. I tried to grab him to restrain him and he flipped over and swiped one of his claws over my eye. Not a scratch on me anywhere except directly across my cornea.
So I was awake all night with tears streaming down one side of my face, it hurt so much that I just couldn't sleep. It was even tough to lay in one place because of the tears pouring out of my face. So I spent most of the night pacing around the house. I must have walked over 10 km in the 6 hours or so that I was pacing.
When I started getting exhausted I remembered I still had some pain killers left from a recent back injury, so I took a couple of them and went to bed.
I woke up about 2 hours later still zonked from the pain killers and stepped out of bed and put all my weight on my dodgy knee while my foot was facing the wrong way and I hit the floor because I'd dislocated my knee. The dislocation was mostly painless as most of the ligaments are torn but I chipped a chunk of cartilage or bone off that kept catching every time I bent my leg.
I decided I better go and see a doctor and get my eye checked out, by now it was fire engine red, watering like a tap and almost closed. So my wife drops me off out the front of the quacks office and drives off, then I get to the door and find it closed and locked and I notice a sign on the door with the opening hours and today (Saturday) is not listed.
So I thought I'd walk back over to the street and catch my wife on the way back past but she's nowhere to be seen. For some reason she didn't go around the roundabout and drive back home, she went home a different way. Then I realise I don't have my mobile phone with me to ring her up.
So I decided to go into the shopping center and get some eye drops from the chemist, he takes one look at me and tells me he doesn't want to sell me anything before I've been checked out by the optometrist 2 doors away. I decided it would be wise move as you couldn't get a much better opinion than an eye specialist.
I walk into the optometrist and when he sees me and overhears what I told the receptionist about the dog scratching my eye he tells to come straight through for an eye exam. After a quick look he told me what I suspected ie that I have a deep scratch across my cornea. Happy days.
I asked him what to put on it and he said just ordinary eye drops to keep it lubricated as if it dries out it will be likely to tear the thin layer of freshly healed tissue and put me back to square one. He also told me that when I wake up it will be highly likely that because my eye is dry it could peel that layer off and that could go on for days or even weeks. Great - even better.
So I go into the chemist and get some eye drops and then walk out the front to where the public phones are to ring my wife to come and pick me up. Then I find out public phones don't take coins anymore, they only take phone cards, I was like WTF, I'd never even seen a phone card let alone know where I could get one.
So I ducked into a shop and bought a cheap pair of sunglasses to keep the wind out of my eye and walked home. I really needed the exercise and the 3 km walk seemed to be the perfect distance to grind the chipped piece of bone or cartilage back down that I chipped off when I dislocated my knee getting out of bed.
The dog can stay outside tonight.
I've just had another lucky streak, my lucky streaks are almost invariably unlucky streaks but you have to see the funny side.
Last night after more than a few glasses of red wine I let the dog in for a while, he's the most intelligent dog I've ever seen but he's also as crazy as a 2 bob watch. He got worked up and was doing his usual psycho act darting all around the house and jumping over furniture etc and he jumped up my lap. I tried to grab him to restrain him and he flipped over and swiped one of his claws over my eye. Not a scratch on me anywhere except directly across my cornea.
So I was awake all night with tears streaming down one side of my face, it hurt so much that I just couldn't sleep. It was even tough to lay in one place because of the tears pouring out of my face. So I spent most of the night pacing around the house. I must have walked over 10 km in the 6 hours or so that I was pacing.
When I started getting exhausted I remembered I still had some pain killers left from a recent back injury, so I took a couple of them and went to bed.
I woke up about 2 hours later still zonked from the pain killers and stepped out of bed and put all my weight on my dodgy knee while my foot was facing the wrong way and I hit the floor because I'd dislocated my knee. The dislocation was mostly painless as most of the ligaments are torn but I chipped a chunk of cartilage or bone off that kept catching every time I bent my leg.
I decided I better go and see a doctor and get my eye checked out, by now it was fire engine red, watering like a tap and almost closed. So my wife drops me off out the front of the quacks office and drives off, then I get to the door and find it closed and locked and I notice a sign on the door with the opening hours and today (Saturday) is not listed.
So I thought I'd walk back over to the street and catch my wife on the way back past but she's nowhere to be seen. For some reason she didn't go around the roundabout and drive back home, she went home a different way. Then I realise I don't have my mobile phone with me to ring her up.
So I decided to go into the shopping center and get some eye drops from the chemist, he takes one look at me and tells me he doesn't want to sell me anything before I've been checked out by the optometrist 2 doors away. I decided it would be wise move as you couldn't get a much better opinion than an eye specialist.
I walk into the optometrist and when he sees me and overhears what I told the receptionist about the dog scratching my eye he tells to come straight through for an eye exam. After a quick look he told me what I suspected ie that I have a deep scratch across my cornea. Happy days.
I asked him what to put on it and he said just ordinary eye drops to keep it lubricated as if it dries out it will be likely to tear the thin layer of freshly healed tissue and put me back to square one. He also told me that when I wake up it will be highly likely that because my eye is dry it could peel that layer off and that could go on for days or even weeks. Great - even better.
So I go into the chemist and get some eye drops and then walk out the front to where the public phones are to ring my wife to come and pick me up. Then I find out public phones don't take coins anymore, they only take phone cards, I was like WTF, I'd never even seen a phone card let alone know where I could get one.
So I ducked into a shop and bought a cheap pair of sunglasses to keep the wind out of my eye and walked home. I really needed the exercise and the 3 km walk seemed to be the perfect distance to grind the chipped piece of bone or cartilage back down that I chipped off when I dislocated my knee getting out of bed.
The dog can stay outside tonight.
