Are you struggling with having your loved ones to start exercising?

[Ege]

I have heard many stories in this forum about forum members who couldn’t convince a family member or a loved person, friend whoever to start a fitness journey.

I also shared the envy about stories about couples practicing KBs together.

Anyways; my mom and girlfriend recently started exercising consistently.

If one asks I am more than happy to give details however I believe the real outcome / learning for me is:

It is quite difficult to convince someone to exercise consistently.

One solution might be is to find a form of exercise that the person would enjoy and view it something like fun, something like a “game”

So the answer to the question of “how can I convince …?” Might lie in changing the question it self in to “How can I help this person to explore and find something that they will enjoy? “

Hope that all who wants to “convince” a loved one to exercise will find a way to do so, cause it bothers you if you care them…

Ps: Mom who did not exercise in any form except daily quite long walks in the last 50 years, started joining community centre fitness classes for women. Because she love socializing. So she became religious about her fitness classes in no time. The idea was from my girlfriend who knows my mom loves to make new friends. Mom asked me my thoughts about classes, I, who failed many times in “convincing her”, just asked the names of the classes, and then told her that those are perfect! To encourage her, there is no need to try to push her towards an “ideal” cause it just does not work.

My girlfriend is like a boy when she plays things, so I bought a pair of pickleball rackets, now she drags me to play pickleball 2-3 times a week (we are the only people that plays pickleball in the city we live). She also found a yotube video of a very beautiful looking middle aged woman who is demonstrating pilates. She is doing her routine a few times a week. From her looks it is clear to me that the woman is on a very strict diet plus she is doing a fair amount of hypertrophy work, but that is okay, my girlfriend does pilates as I write this long message.

 

[Spartan Agoge]

I have tried many times to get my parents to work out. As they age, i can see the negative effects of sarcopenia, loss of mobility and loss of aerobic capacity on them. Every time it was like trying to make a little kid to do something it doesn't want to.

The generation of my parents(born in the 50's and the 60's) is a generation which doesn't have the fitness culture we have today. So, they can't see the necessity of training.

In my opinion, every elder person would totally upgrade his life quality if he was doing easy strength and daily walks.

 

[Dydo]

It's not difficult for me at all. My wife even visits the gym more than I do, sometimes she goes 5-6 times a week. Goes to group classes - zumba and cango jump. My sons have been hitting the gym a little less lately because they are finishing high school, but they generally go to the gym 3-4 times and work out at Stilt Bodybuilding.
These photos are from a little over 1 year ago when they had just turned 17. They are now 18 and of legal age. They don't perform deadlifts and barbell squats.

 

[oab]

Each person on the planet exercises a free choice in what they do. One can model healthy behaviour by sensible physical activity, nutrition, sleep and stress management. It is often stress\anxiety that holds people back eg insomnia, too busy to exercise, eat foods to stimulate that result in gain weight. If stress is able to be reduced BY BETTER COPING as opposed to (mainly) avoiding then people will be able to change further. A person who is a bit more relaxed can then do something they enjoy, for example, an outgoing socialising type should get involved in team sports or groups sports activities for the socialising. A shy inward looking type might be better off doing individual activities where they can see their own performance is improving eg coaching and home exercise program with kettlebells etc, golf, a yoga class and so on.

Even if you model and use carrots to help a person find an activity they like there will be quite a few who don't exercise as most people they know don't do much.

 

[rwleonard]

The generation of my parents(born in the 50's and the 60's) is a generation which doesn't have the fitness culture we have today. So, they can't see the necessity of training.

I see just the opposite. My wife and I were born in the early sixties. We met during a tirathlon and are looking forward to some serious outdoor adventures when we retire. My kids, not so much. I see their generation as much softer than ours.

 

[Spartan Agoge]

I see just the opposite. My wife and I were born in the early sixties. We met during a tirathlon and are looking forward to some serious outdoor adventures when we retire. My kids, not so much. I see their generation as much softer than ours.

Yes, of course in many countries it is like you wrote. What I mentioned is just the case in my country. My parents' generation had/has no fitness culture. They consider the skinny fat body type to be the best body.
I am sure that in other countries it is the opposite.

 

[Dydo]

And in my country, which borders yours in the north (if i guess correctly where are you from) , they make similar comparisons.
The black and white photo is from the time of communism, so that there is no wonder why there is a five on the hat
What most young people were like before and what many of them look like now. But here the comparison is about male behavior, not so much about playing sports. The current generation is very gentle and even if they work out in the gym, they haven't trained their psyches to real hardships.

 

[Spartan Agoge]

And in my country, which borders yours in the north (if i guess correctly where are you from) , they make similar comparisons.
The black and white photo is from the time of communism, so that there is no wonder why there is a five on the hat
What most young people were like before and what many of them look like now. But here the comparison is about male behavior, not so much about playing sports. The current generation is very gentle and even if they work out in the gym, they haven't trained their psyches to real hardships.

Yes, we never had communism, but I can relate. Masculinity is in all time low. People were really tough and strong. Our generation on the other hand is full of weak men. Deadlift can't fix that

 

[Dydo]

I observe this all over the world and especially in civilized and advanced countries. Men have degenerated.

 

[Benjamin Renaud]

My wife started doing some glute exercises that I showed her that I was doing as prehab. She enjoyed the effect they had on her glutes. She then proceeded to add in ring rows and she also does BW squats. Far from a complete program, she enjoys that it's easy to do and works well enough to keep her "toned". She also walks daily for an hour or so on top of all the chores she does. She'd never say she trains though, saying it's an insult to people that really train.

My mom never got around to doing anything other than walking, which she now has a harder time doing. I tried coaxing her after I saw that she'd even bought a great BW training book for women that had great regressions/progressions but she never got around to doing it. Sadly she's slowly having a harder time going up stairs and has lost a good amount of muscle while simultaneously gaining weight.

 

[Anna C]

It's near impossible to get people to exercise if they aren't seeking it. However, never underestimate the power of your example. Just by training and doing your thing, people around you can see the options and have a resource to ask about it and learn more.

 

[Edward321]

A common complaint I have heard from sedentary people starting to work out is feeling beat up and joint soreness. These would go away after a few weeks and could be lessened by working with a good trainer, but most people give up too quickly.

Anecdotally, I know a few people who have made a habit of using the Peloton. Just using a Peloton is not ideal, but it is still way better than nothing, and the classes can help people stay engaged. This type of exercise rarely beats up the joints which I think is why I have noticed a higher percentage of people sticking with it.

 

[Dydo]

I think the main factor here is whether you like it. I know that many people express the opinion that they do sports because it is necessary and useful, but I do not fully believe them. Even if the training itself tires you, it should also give you pleasure. Difficult does not mean unpleasant. For example, it gives me great pleasure to train as a bodybuilder. Regardless of whether I have great results or not. And I don't have them, because I don't look for constant progression, I don't follow a diet and I don't recover as it is written. I've been lifting the same weights for years, just changing programs. I train because just lifting and going to the gym gives me pleasure. Is it useful, yes. Do I provide my body with additional movement and energy expenditure - yes. Do I do resistance exercises - yes. For example, today I can't wait until my work day is over so I can go do some back pulls and tricep extensions.
In conclusion, I can say that those who give up are simply because they don't like it, it's not their job. I'm talking specifically about weight training, but that goes for any kind of sport. Some haven't found their sport and others hate playing any sport.

 

[silveraw]

People were really tough and strong. Our generation on the other hand is full of weak men.

It is weird how the generations born into some of the most economically turbulent times in a century and fought one of the longest wars in modern history gets a weak rep because they happen to like tight pants and short shorts.

 

[Luis T. Gonzalez]

My parents for some reason have always been in and out of training. I found free weights and boxing at about 11, BJJ/wrestling at 16-present, kettlebells at about 32 and I will be 38 this year. My wife works long hours and I don't think she likes kettlebell training but she tried it. She enjoys trail walking but maybe joining a weekly group fitness class might be good for both of us. I typically do some form of exercise daily even if it's just a walk, but I have always been and probably always will be a health nut. At 14/15 years of age, I refused to eat processed or fast foods, and still do. I really can't get my son to lift every week but I will notice him go to the garage and he will deadlift a couple of sets, press a little, and ride our Echo bike, he loves trail walking too.

 

[Wes Yeary]

Not everyone likes the same things.
My kids enjoy doing some of the stuff I do. My daughters both enjoy lifting things. Even the 5 yr old will pick up 5 lb plates and walk with them. My 8 yr old daughter really loves gymnastics and lifting light weights. She's the one, if any of them, who will probably really progress with weightlifting, just based on what I see right now. My son, he'll lift because it benefits his baseball playing, but he doesn't really have much interest in lifting right now. However, he loves track and field and will do sprint training pretty much anytime.
I figure that if someone really wants to, they can find something they enjoy doing. I think walking is probably the most important step (pun intended) for someone who is currently basically sedentary. You never know where that can go.

 

[metaldrummer]

And in my country, which borders yours in the north (if i guess correctly where are you from) , they make similar comparisons.
The black and white photo is from the time of communism, so that there is no wonder why there is a five on the hat
What most young people were like before and what many of them look like now. But here the comparison is about male behavior, not so much about playing sports. The current generation is very gentle and even if they work out in the gym, they haven't trained their psyches to real hardships.

So you're comparing someone who's a solder to a twink? What a stupid comparison. lol

 

[LarryB]

And in my country, which borders yours in the north (if i guess correctly where are you from) , they make similar comparisons.
The black and white photo is from the time of communism, so that there is no wonder why there is a five on the hat
What most young people were like before and what many of them look like now. But here the comparison is about male behavior, not so much about playing sports. The current generation is very gentle and even if they work out in the gym, they haven't trained their psyches to real hardships.

Anyone can find anything (or any picture) online to support their claims. Just earlier in this thread you posted pictures of your boys lifting which shows the contrary of this post. Different people like different things. Two of my kids are very physically active but my eldest is a book worm.
Times do be a changin, but i try not to be the stereotypical old man saying “kids these days”. Never forget that the previous generations actions created the world we are currently living in and the path we are currently on.

 

[Dydo]

Yes, that's right, you can illustrate your points if that's the point. But this was an example of the actual situation at the moment. But I say that most, not all, of the olden days were more strong and brave boys. And now there are, but they are fewer. The others increased their numbers. When I was a young man the army was compulsory and every healthy man went through it for 1-2 years. Now the army is mercenary and almost all the young men have never taken up arms.

 

[Luis T. Gonzalez]

Times do be a changin, but i try not to be the stereotypical old man saying “kids these days”. Never forget that the previous generations actions created the world we are currently living in and the path we are currently on.

I've always been into physical endeavors and a book worm. My son was born with an eye that he cannot see out of all the way. So I have always nudged him towards academics. He plays four instruments and has straight A's. And he wakes up every Sunday to go to church on his own. I'm pretty proud of the young man he is becoming even if he can't ever do some really impressive physical things. I think the blame isn't the "soft" kids, it is parents taking the time to parent. My son knows "manly" things because he has a man in his life.