I think I am inlove

Oscar

Quadruple-Digit Post Count
I´m joining the can of worms discussion.

I still have a hard time finding something wrong in the original post. I agree that is a rather unusual topic for this forum. But I think he showed his appreciation for a strong lady at a place where he considered it would be shared, when the rest of the world seems to favour the appearance of skinny and very slender women.

I just re-read the original post and I think Ms. Witt would not be offended if she read it herself.
 

Anna C

More than 5000 posts
Elite Certified Instructor
Charity Witt has built a sexy strong brand. She makes money from being admired and desired.

I have great respect for Strongwoman athletes, but if they post butt shots on instagram they want that attention also. Why can’t they be both strong and sexy?
I just re-read the original post and I think Ms. Witt would not be offended if she read it herself.
Good discussion, guys! I'm impressed.

I think it highlights the difference between A) responding to someone in a way that reflects how they seem to want to be responded to, B) responding to someone in a way we think they should want to be responded to, and C) restricting acceptable responses to someone to only that which would be generally acceptable to respond to any and all similar people of the highlighted characteristic (in this case, strong female).

So there's always room for interpretation, but I think most agree that the original post is OK with regard to A.

B would be more influenced by any one person's upbringing, comfort level, the people around them, etc. So even if they believe the OP matches A, they won't like it because they're not comfortable with that for anyone. I think this describes many of the responders here.

C is the land of the easily offended, or the overly scared/sensitive... with a caveat: if the any and all similar people are subject to feeling unwittingly included in the response, as might happen in a work situation or a social situation (or sometimes online, such as this), then it's a justifiable response and a wise approach. But if it's in a situation that's specific to a person and doesn't reflect or pressure others, then I think we shouldn't be put off by it... although those in B above will never be comfortable with it, so we might be considerate of that as well.
 

Steve Freides

Forum Administrator
Staff member
Senior Certified Instructor
I just re-read the original post and I think Ms. Witt would not be offended if she read it herself.
Yes, @Oscar, I think you're right about that. But having had more than one PM conversation about this, I know some people were offended so I think it's good we're talking about it.

@Anna C, thank you for your perspective-on-perspectives - I think it's a helpful way to think about this.

It's also important to note that, although we're all on the Internet, we're located and live our lives all over the world, and there can be real cultural differences about many things, including something like this. I've had, e.g., people from Australia tell me I've said things that would never be said in polite conversation there. We are, as they say, separated by a common language. :)

Good discussion, guys! I'm impressed.
I agree.

-S-
 

Steve Freides

Forum Administrator
Staff member
Senior Certified Instructor
Very well said, @Anna C

But you forgot to declare which group is the winner, concluding the argument for all time.
You need a big smiley face after that one. Or maybe 3, or 10.

:)

We really don't want _anyone_ taking that thought seriously. And all this we're-all-over-the-world stuff means that humor doesn't always translate.

-S-
 

Bro Mo

Quadruple-Digit Post Count
I think we are all physically attracted to some people and not physically attracted to others and that is perfectly ok and normal. Stating either should not be good or bad - just a declaration of personal subjectivity.

A = B does not mean A ≠ C. Finding a person physically attractive does not equate to lack of appreciation or value of other non-physical attributes of that person. Aesthetics can say a lot about a person and having an opinion about the aesthetics can simply be a way to describe value of traits that create that physical appearance - good or bad, and regardless...still subjective.

First world problems when we become victims of something that makes no claims for or against us personally as the bystanders. I completely understand righteousness but sometimes it's just masquerading insecurity, self-victimization, or hysteria.
 

Steve Freides

Forum Administrator
Staff member
Senior Certified Instructor
Stating either should not be good or bad - just a declaration of personal subjectivity.
Feeling either should not be good or bad; stating something on the forum, however, by virtue of the public nature of the forum, is a fair topic for discussion. Not everything is appropriate to share here.

-S-
 

Steve W.

Quadruple-Digit Post Count
I think it highlights the difference between A) responding to someone in a way that reflects how they seem to want to be responded to, B) responding to someone in a way we think they should want to be responded to, and C) restricting acceptable responses to someone to only that which would be generally acceptable to respond to any and all similar people of the highlighted characteristic (in this case, strong female).
Well, to me it depends on what you mean by "responded to." No one here is directly responding TO Charity Witt (although "responded to" might just mean "have an opinion about"). In commenting in this thread, I never considered at all what she might want people to say about her or how she might react to anything said here.

I was thinking more about the norms of the SF forum. Without really reflecting on or articulating what those norms are, my gut reaction to the OP was that its tone seemed a little incongruous in the context of this forum.

On the early DD forum before it was reined in, or it's less civilized offshoot (some of you may know what I'm referring to), or one of many other places on the internet, or many contexts in real life, it would be a different story.
 
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Ryan T

More than 500 posts
Another take away is how powerful words are and how they can impact the communities in which we live.

We can't make everyone happy, nor can we shape every comment or response to fit within the everyone's comfort zones. You wouldn't be able to say anything. I would argue that the the US is at too high a state of reactionary emotional response (phrases like "triggering" come to mind) that can lead to shutting down thought and conversation. I'm actually pretty frustrated by the over emphasis on identity politics and "PC-ness" of our day and age. We do, however, have to know who our audience is and understand how to engage them in the best way. There are plenty of times that I begin to post something and then rethink it, either rewording it or not writing it at all. There are also times when I've said something on a post, and I've later had someone PM me and call me out for it. In those times, even though it was not ideal, I've had good conversations with those folks and been able to move foward.

I think the S1 community endeavors to bring the priority and option of strength to everyone. To that end this must be a safe place for both men and women. Ideally, the level of support and safety should be high enough where we can all post techique videos without fear. We should all check our egos at the door and continue build strong communities wherever we are. I think all the reactions to this thread have been good really and this is an important conversation to have.

Sorry for the long response, but I've never been good at concise statements.
 
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